It would be ideal if both parents and children were saints and parents would never be annoyed with their children because they would never behave badly.
However, parents and children are both human, and they aren’t flawless. So as a parent you will get frustrated, so much so you might say something to your child without even thinking about it.
Here are some words that should never be articulated to your children.
I wish you hadn’t been born
This is something that no child should ever have to hear from their parents. Even when you’re so angry with your child and you feel like spitting fire and brimstone, bite your tongue if you believe you’re about to say something like this. This sentence not only hurts a child’s feelings, but it also does a lot of harm to their self-esteem.
I’m going to leave you here if you don’t hurry up
Adults have a better understanding of time than children. If your youngster is already afraid of being deserted or lost, making this comment can only increase their anxiety. To determine why they’re sluggish and do everything you can to get them going without frightening them.
You never follow through on what I request
Your child will quickly feel as though they can’t get anything done properly if you repeat this sentence over and again. They’ll start to question why they’re even attempting, so try “I’d prefer you to do this way,” which is a good example of a phrase to use. Make sure you’re clear about what you want so they’ll understand and be able to help you.
I wish you had more in common with your sibling or sister
Nobody enjoys being compared to someone else. They desire to be recognized for who they are. Making statements like this will simply make your youngster feel insecure and will increase sibling rivalry.
A child who hears this comment frequently may believe that they will never be as good as their sibling and that they will never be able to accomplish something worthwhile. Rather than comparing your children, remember that they are all unique individuals with unique skills and qualities. Love them for who they are and applaud their uniqueness.
Making derogatory remarks about your child’s other parent
Children should not be found in the center of their parents’ arguments or hear you disparage the other parent. This may lead the child to believe they must choose sides, or they may speak poorly about them. It’s critical to only communicate with your child’s other parent in a kind manner, even if you’re separated from them.
I am on a weight-loss program
Whatever weightless goals you have, keep it personal, because if your kid sees you weighing yourself every day and hears you talk about being “fat”, she may form a negative self-image. Instead, “I’m eating right because I enjoy how it makes me feel,” would be a better choice of words.
That is not something we can purchase
If you tell your kids that they simply can not acquire something frequently enough, they may believe that money can equate to happiness. They may also believe, whether it be true or false, that your family is experiencing financial troubles.
You don’t have to give a reason for your “no” response to a plea if you don’t want to state you can’t afford something.
When your child scratches his leg and sobs, it’s natural to want to comfort him that he’s not wounded. Saying he’s fine, on the other hand, can make him feel even worse. Helping him come to terms with his feelings, rather than dismissing them, is the way to proceed.
Hug him and acknowledge his feelings by saying something along the lines of, “That was an unsettling fall.” Then inquire as to whether he would prefer a plaster or an embrace.
Finally, parents inevitably become irritated with their children at intervals, so when you say one of these things to your child, apologize right away. Explain that you were mistaken, that you didn’t mean what you said, and that you love them and will try not to make the same mistake again.
Parents who motivate and lift their kids are doing a better job than parents who tear them down with derogatory words they probably don’t mean.