Lifestyle

8 Helpful Ways to Deal With Critical People

8 Helpful Ways to Deal With Critical People

Helpful Ways to Deal With Critical People

Consider the following scenario. Today you seem to be in a pleasant mood. You’ve just got some exciting news, which you enthusiastically share with a friend. She, on the other hand, is uninterested as you gush. Worse, she claims that what you’re discussing isn’t all that amazing! You’ve gone from being happy to being disheartened before you realize it.

Critical people always find a way to derail the topic, no matter what you say. You can’t recall the last time they complimented you or offered you positive comments. They tend to scrutinize and nitpick every minor detail, then dwell on it and provide unwanted, negative ideas.

If it isn’t enough, be wary of those who are quick to criticize you. They appear to have a filter that filters out the positive and concentrates on the bad. They appear to only know how to criticize rather than praise.

8 Tips For Dealing With Negative People

Critical individuals aren’t the first people you’d want to hang out with, yet they’re all too common in life. Here are my eight suggestions for dealing with difficult people.

1. Don’t take anything too seriously

Criticisms from critical people frequently reflect more on them than on you. They react negatively as a result of their life views. You may believe that this critical individual is out to get you, but he or she is likely to treat others in the same way.

Here’s a quick technique to see if it’s true:

  • Do you share any mutual friends with this individual? Or do you know anyone else that interacts with this individual?
  • The next time he or she is with them, be present. Pay attention to how this crucial person interacts with them. What is his/her demeanor like? Does he/she have a consistent pattern of remarks? Is just concerned with the bad aspects of life? Is he/she critical in his/her tone? If the answer is yes, you’ve succeeded.

2. Don’t take anything too seriously

Criticisms from critical people frequently reflect more on them than on you. They react negatively as a result of their life views. You may believe that this critical individual is out to get you, but he or she is likely to treat others in the same way.

Here’s a quick technique to see if it’s true:

  • Do you share any mutual friends with this individual? Or do you know anyone else that interacts with this individual?
  • The next time he or she is with them, be present. Pay attention to how this crucial person interacts with them. What is his/her demeanor like? Does he/she have a consistent pattern of remarks? Is just concerned with the bad aspects of life? Is he/she critical in his/her tone? If the answer is yes, you’ve succeeded.

Filter their words and hammer home their point. “What are they trying to say?” you might wonder. What do people mean when they say this? Is it true that they’re attempting to be jerks, or do they genuinely care?”

You can acquire access to a lot of information in people’s minds if you can get past the “how” and focus on the “what.” Here are two things that happen:

You no longer react to other people’s statements with a knee-jerk reaction, instead of focusing on the underlying meaning. As a person, you grow more perceptive.

You gain knowledge by concentrating on the message rather than how it is delivered. You can learn by interpreting and applying what others are attempting to express. This won’t happen if you’re constantly preoccupied with how someone says something.

3. It can be used as a source of candid feedback

Taking their critique as a source of honesty is one approach to looking at critical people. At least with them, you get exactly what you see.

Is it really necessary to choose between critical and caring people and lovely and deceitful people? Not; this is a false dichotomy. People can also be polite and honest, and we shouldn’t dismiss rudeness when it occurs, especially when it occurs without cause. It’s simply that one way to look at dealing with a critical individual is that at the very least the person is being honest about his or her feelings. You may ask for his or her opinion and be certain that he or she will tell you exactly what he or she thinks, without romanticizing or hiding facts, which is beneficial when you need straight feedback or the toughest form of feedback to help you develop.

Related:   How to Control Anxiety in Adolescents

4. Address Your Internal Discomfort

Our discomfort with critical people’s criticism reflects something about ourselves, just as their criticism reveals something about them. This is especially true if we are upset by it regularly.

I’ll go within to figure out why I’m uncomfortable with other people’s comments. It likely resonated with an underlying belief. The next step for me is to figure out what it is.

“Why am I uneasy with his/her comment?” you might wonder. Why am I displeased with what he or she just said? “What exactly is it that bothers me?”

Keep asking questions until you find the source of the problem. The initial set of responses will be focused on the outside world, such as personal difficulties and interpersonal conflicts. However, when you get deeper into the questions, the responses shift from being externally focused to being internally centered.

This indicates that the discomfort is caused by something within you rather than by the individual. It could be a memory of a comparable scenario in the past when someone said something similar, or a bad attitude you hold toward such remarks. Without expecting anybody else to change, the final response you obtain from this exercise should help you put an end to your suffering and take action on the matter.

5. If you can’t take it, don’t “ask” for opinions

Don’t ask for someone’s opinion if you can’t stand what they’re saying. This includes talking about the subject in general, which allows the person to express his or her opinions.

6. Ignore / Disengage

When you don’t ask for it, some people may offer constructive critique. Their critique may be inappropriate and in bad taste. One way to respond is to lash out in rage.

However, because the individual is likely to be distressed in the first place for voluntarily disseminating negativity, your counterattack will very certainly invite more of the same. This would quickly devolve into a savage, unpleasant dispute that is unlikely to end nicely.

“Don’t feed the trolls,” as the saying goes when it comes to online hate. If you can’t stop someone from expressing their views, you can choose to ignore them. Give a short, one- or two-line response that recognizes that you’ve heard the comment but doesn’t continue the conversation. If the person persists, simply ignore him or her. He/she is trying to elicit a reaction from you at this moment. You keep control of the situation by not doing so.

We must take responsibility for our reactions just as critical people must take responsibility for their statements. There is always the event and our interpretation of the event with every occurrence. We can’t control how people act or speak around us, but we can control how we act. We always have the option to choose. If we don’t want to absorb negativity, we should just refuse to accept it. If we don’t accept the negativity, it isn’t ours.

7. Be Kind to Them

For some, this might be a major step forward. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Why should I be nice to them?” They’re already giving me so much pain. They don’t deserve my goodwill in the least!

Kindness is the best policy. Don’t be stingy with your feelings. Make a compliment to them. Give them a warm welcome. Say hello. Invite them to dinner. Assist them in the areas where you know they will benefit. Get to know them on a more personal level.

They may respond negatively at first because your actions have caught them off guard. They’re probably wary because they’ve never been treated this way before. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and they’ll eventually respond positively as well.

8. Stay away from them

When everything else fails, stay away from them. Reduce your contact with him/her, restrict your interactions with him/her, hang out with other people if you’re in a group, or cut him/her out of your life as a last resort. You can’t work with each other all of the time, even if you work at the same place. When you absolutely must interact with him/her, use the recommendations above, and stay away from him/her the rest of the time.

The Author

Oladotun Olayemi

Dotun is a content enthusiast who specializes in first-in-class content, including finance, travel, crypto, blockchain, market, and business to educate and inform readers.