Love & Relationships

How to Significantly Reduce the Pain of a Loved One’s Absence

How to Significantly Reduce the Pain of a Loved One's Absence

The agony of losing a loved one can be so overwhelming that it feels as if it will never go away. Whether you’ve lost a family member, spouse, kid, friend, pet, or someone else who was important to you, the sensations of missing them are significantly stronger right after they have just departed.

You’ll likely always miss them, but it is vital to remember that the degree of your sentiments will fade and alter with time. While grieving, you can do things to assist in soothing your pain and remember someone dear. One of the most crucial aspects of recovering is to grasp the phases of loss and the grieving process.

Grief is divided into five distinct stages. The stages are as follows:

Denial

“This isn’t happening,” is a good way to sum up the initial stage of grieving. To such a person, life makes no sense at this point, and we can’t bring ourselves to realize that our loved one is no longer with us.

Avoidance, perplexity, shock, and panic are all possible reactions one may be grappling with and in some ways, the denial phase acts as a cushion. It is our bodies’ way of softening the impact and assisting us in processing something unpleasant. The healing process begins as denial begins to fade.

Anger

Anger is the most difficult feeling for most bereaved people to accept. Many of us have the misconception that anger is a “negative” feeling, that it isn’t necessarily healthy, and that one should avoid it as a result. This idea is completely false. “Why me?” and “This isn’t fair!” are likely to arise, as is the proclivity to accuse others, challenge God, and act out. Accepting your anger, handling it, and eventually pardoning yourself are the greatest ways to get through this phase.

You’re undoubtedly in the bargaining stage if you think or utter words like please or try to placate a higher being to heal a loved one and somewhat negotiate a deal.

You cling to the illusory hope that things will turn around at this point.

Also, ‘what if and if only’ comments are also related to bargaining. Blaming oneself for action or inaction that is perceived could have altered the events of life.

Bargaining is the polar opposite of rage in which you unfairly transfer power and responsibility from others to yourself. We seem unable to admit that we are stuck in time.

Depression

Although the rage stage appears to be the most intense, depression might be the most painful. Because this is the most prevalent phase of mourning, lazing in bed all day, feeling lightheaded, and being distraught genuinely feels more like second nature than wanting to punch a wall or implore God to bring your departed loved one back.

Keep in mind that, while depression is to be expected, it is only a stopover and not a permanent residence and one can’t simply get over it or bounce out of it, but rather, take your time to accept your loss and take snail steps in piecing your life back together.

Acceptance

A grieving person never pictures themselves reaching this point because people mostly equate acceptance to never being sad over the passing of a loved one, whereas the two are in reality distinct. The acceptance stage entails admitting that a loss has occurred and that this fact cannot and will not alter. We must acknowledge our new normal at this time and strive to move forward into an existence that is dissimilar but not over.

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Because grief manifests itself differently in each person, it’s impossible to predict how long any of the phases will persist. You may anticipate going through each step at least once. You will ultimately reach that point of acknowledgment, and your anguish will reduce to some extent.

Other actions that could help you in and out of your grieving process are:

Give Yourself A Break If You’re Missing Someone You Love

While you are grieving, it may appear like the entire world is going about its business while you are trapped in your sadness. In this instance, it is quite acceptable to take a break from life as you learn to live with your loss and take a rain check when you don’t feel like coming to an event or activity.

Also, if you don’t feel like reading people’s condolences, keep the condolence cards hidden until you’re feeling better, and avoid using social networking sites for a while.

Allow yourself some time during the day to do the activities that bring you joy, but if you seek help and treatment if you find yourself spending less time with friends or family as a result of your sadness.

Celebrate The Life of Your Departed Loved One

When you’re ready, consider some unique methods to honor someone you care about and find a reliable person who will listen to you express your emotions, and will empathize with you.

Furthermore, if you enjoy writing, consider beginning a website where you can articulate your perspectives and emotions about missing a loved one and you will be pleasantly amazed at how people in similar boats would become a member of your team.

Another part is to create a journal on your computer or write your feelings in a notepad if you don’t want to express your feelings to the world. Writing, in either case, gives voice to your emotions and all of your specific recollections of your loved one.

Even in Your Grieve Focus on Yourself

Focusing on yourself might help you cope with the pain of missing a loved one, in that while you keep your departed loved one in your thoughts at a time, you also embrace your hygiene and personal appearance, which is one of the ways of ensuring you’re grieving constructively.

Eat nutritious foods and snacks, get plenty of sleep, work out, talk about your fears and anxieties, and laugh whenever possible. Take up hobbies such as drawing hanging out with pals, and eating out. Engage in activities that are healthy and non-destructive while also assisting you in moving forward.

The key thing to remember about heartbreak is that it is a journey, not an event and the magnitude of the hurt is just for a short time, and you will finally get through it.

Getting Guidance

Grieving counselors can assist you in determining which phase of grief you are in, with the influx of online therapy, which is gaining popularity as a well-researched substitute for traditional in-person sessions, you are almost guaranteed quality service right in the comfort of your home.

In summary, grieving a loved one is a long and difficult process and there’s no harm in asking for assistance. Know that you can and will get through it with a little love and care.

The Author

Oladotun Olayemi

Dotun is a content enthusiast who specializes in first-in-class content, including finance, travel, crypto, blockchain, market, and business to educate and inform readers.